Alright, so I've been nursing Miles for about 8months now and I just don't know what to do. So I'm asking for some advice and some reassurance that I'm not a bad Mom. For the past 3 months Miles just screams for the first 5 minuets of me trying to nurse him, and conditions have to be just right. If I try and feed him in public he gets really mad if I talk during his feeding time. It's so frustrating!
I nursed London for a year and everything was great. I nursed in public, in church no problem. But Miles is so different, it's not that he doesn't like food, in fact he's a bit of a spaz when it comes to food, I just think that maybe my milk doesn't come out fast enough for his liking.
So what do I do? should I just keep trying? or should I just ween him to 100% bottle fed, I hate to do it, but it just seems to be getting worse. HELP!!! And a part of me feels REALLY guilty not nursing him anymore, I guess I'm kind of looking for reassurance. So if you have any advice I would love to hear it. Thanks for listening to me vent.
19 comments:
Sounds to me like you already have your answer. Both you and Miles are not enjoying nursing anymore and what is holding you back from stopping is the guilt. It is true that nursing is best but you've already done it for 8 months! The best advice I've heard lately is to listen to your own motherly instinct. I don't want to be the one to say you should do this or that. From my perspective I see a frustrated mom and baby and that is no good, especially if you do have the option to give a bottle. P.S. I'm reading a book called 'Unconditional Parenting' by Alfie Kohn, which is super good, and he says forget talking about 'Brain Surgery' and 'Rocket Science.' When someone wants to make a point they should say, "It's not parenting..." I hope my rambling has done some good!! You're a great mom.
I agree with amy. I think that if Miles isn't liking nursing any more then the bottle is totally fine. And you are not a bad mother at all. He will still get all the nutrition that he needs form formula and baby food. You could also pump if you think that that milk is the better way to go:) I stoped nursing Noah when he was about 8 months and I felt it was ok because he was eating more then just milk that time. You'll be fine and Miles wont be so fussy:) good luck!
My oldest was the same way. And he stopped nursing at 9 months. Not saying it's the right thing to do but I just kind of gave him a choice at about 8 months. I would always offer me first and if he wasn't into it I would give him a bottle. I kind of felt like I let him make the decision. And when my milk ran out I cried like a baby. Dumb I know but us girls just have way too may emotions attached to our kids. That's my experience. Hope it helps.
You CANNOT feel guilty. There can be no pre-determined this is how its gonna be when your a mom. Somethings work great and somethings don't and sometimes you just have to say ok. Lets do whats best for us. No matter what anyone else thinks. Its what is best for you. No guilt because you can't change the situation and its not fair to dwell on something you can't change.
Halle only wanted to nurse for 3 month I was so sad to stop but it just did not work every child is different and that is what is so fun about being a mom. you get to set the rules and you set them with wht works most of the time. good luck to you.
I tried to nurse Aaron exclusively but my supply just never amounted to much, only about an ounce a half (between both girls) and so would nurse Aaron so he could at least get something from me and then would give him a bottle. I completely dried up at a month and a half ... I hadn't even been fully breastfeed him but I just felt like I sucked after that little bit that I had to give him went away. But really, formula is fine and good; Aaron is a chunk and has been able to eat as much as wants whenever and wherever he wants and seems to be doing fine after almost 2-1/2 months of being only bottle-fed. Don't feel guilty, as everyone else has said, because you'll still be feeding Miles and it'll be something that's a close second to nursing.
Of course you should still nurse! It's what is best for Miles even though he screams and would prefer a Big Mac (or as a Lopez, a bean burrito with no sauce, no onions and extra cheese!)
I think we talked about this before, Trevor had to stop nursing at 2 months because of my surgery , and Ashley had to have butterball formula because she was having the same problem as Miles (although, she lost weight), and they are both healthy. Infact, they are both on the height and weight scale in the "average" and Makenna (who nursed for 14 months) is still under the 10th percentile! So, take it for what it is, and do what is right, let the consequence follow. (Don't forget, there are good consequences too!)
The Rexburg La Leche League has helped me a lot with any nursing questions. The next meeting is at 10:00 a.m. on Thursday, October 16th, at 4386 West 1000 North.
Hope this helps! :-)
Laura, I so feel you! Reese is only 2.5 months and we've had a rough go! I think just in the last 2 weeks we've got it down but I've been tempted to quit so many times because it was so frustrating! Follow your instincts, 8 months is a great accomplishment! I think the recommended is 6 months so you're doing great! Anyways, you want feedings to be enjoyable not frustrating so go with your gut!
Great Picture of you, can I say, "Hot MAMA!" I love how you include pic.s of yourself. OK., back to the subject, If it's that much of a fight, maybe it's not worth it. I know you will be plagued with guilt, but it'll be ok., I think each kid is different in everything, so you have to watch what works for you AND that specific kid. Dallin quit nursing about 3 months - killed me, but he's turned out just fine; wait, this is Dallin we're talking about, I think he will turn out just fine-we're still waiting=). To help with the guilt, you could take the 5 minutes of fighting to nurse and turn it into 5 minutes of sheer fun time for you and Miles - then you still bond and have close one on one time.
I nursed keydran til he was about 7 or 8 months. I just wasn't producing enough milk for him. You could try feeding him baby food until he's almost full and then nurse him until completely full. But I know how you feel. I didn't want to stop nursing him. I don't think it's guilt. I didn't want that connection to go away. Also every baby is different and I've read that babies usually lose interest in nursing around 8 or 9 months. But when they get to that stage, I have to admit, it gets very painful and annoying. Good luck!
you are not a bad mom for stopping. i had to stop with lily when she was 4 months cause my body just couldnt handle it but lils is doing just fine. its actually great cause chad can feed her now!dont feel bad.
Laura, first I love that picture of you! Liam had a super hard time nursing right from the begining. We tried everything and we talked to everyone. Fainlly it came down to me pumping half of his milk and then a bottle the rest of the time. At frist I felt so bad. I felt like bad mom. But do you know what? My baby had to eat- end of story. It didn't matter what other mothers or women thought of me. I am being the best mom I know how! YOU are an amazing mom. Everyone who knows you knows that. You always have and always will do what is best for your kids.
I have to agree with my Whatcom County Girls! All babies are different. I went back to work and dried up around 5 months. I wanted to make it at least 6 but sometimes s*** happens :) Anyone who tells you that you are being selfish is an absolute idiot who hasn't gone through this problem themselves! Also, formula has come a LONG way... it isn't terrible. Sure, breastmilk is the best but when that isn't working for you or your baby you have to try the next best thing. Once you switch, you will be amazed how silly you felt for stressing over it! :-) GOOD LUCK!
BE PROUD THAT YOU MADE IT THIS FAR! Some women never have their milk come it at all!
So probably Miles hates nursing because you're smelly. Or because you lost so much weight and it's just not as comfy as it used to be (way to go on losing the weight by the way. Woohoo!) Seriously though, I wouldn't feel guilty or bad or anything. Obviously neither of you are enjoying it, it just makes you both frustrated, and that's not good for either of you. Jaymz didn't want to nurse anymore around 9 months, so I switched to formula for 2 months and then switched to whole milk and he's totally fine, other than that he mimicks everything Nate does, but I don't think that has to do with his eating habits. Every kid is different, and don't worry, because you are a great mom! (even if you are smelly)
wow. first of all you are an incredible mom. it's so hard making the decision to switch over to a bottle 100%. It was super hard for me. And I felt like a "bad" mom but of course that isn't true. We are just silly. Anyway I would try maybe giving him some pumped milk first so when he's so starving he's not frustrated with you. as for the talking....jj never liked it either. i could hardly ever nurse at church. i was usually soaking and he was mad. good luck;) maybe he's going through a weird stage haha. Joseph was picking about silly things too. but he was always going through growth spurts too.
Laura, I'm with the "you're both done" group. Of course, I didn't even try with Ivy (Paul and Megan were such miserably hungry babies). She is doing so well. AND I am so happy. Best of luck deciding. . . I am no good and making important decisions quickly.
I'm sorry, I have no advice to give :) but wanted to say hello! Your boys are so cute and I love their names. Where are you guys living? We are here in Ferndale right now, we love it. It's been so long since I've seen you, hope all is going well, you look great!
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